Before You Love: 7 Questions Every Couple Should Ask Themselves
Love is beautiful.
It’s also powerful, messy, complicated—and sometimes, blinding. In a world that glorifies falling into love, we often forget the real strength lies in choosing love—intentionally, courageously, and with full awareness. If you're standing at the edge of a deeper commitment—whether that means moving in, getting engaged, or simply opening your heart more fully—it’s worth pausing to ask:
Am I loving with open eyes, or wishful thinking?
These 7 questions, inspired by the What Holds Us workbook, offer a way to slow down, breathe, and build (or rebuild) your love on something solid.
1. Is my love expanding me or constricting me?
Healthy love isn’t meant to shrink you. It should be a catalyst for becoming more of yourself.
Ask yourself: Do I feel more alive, authentic, and grounded when I’m with them? Or do I find myself dimming down to "fit"?
2. Are we building a future together—or just surviving the present?
Infatuation can get you through Friday nights. Shared vision is what gets you through life.
Are you aligned on core values like family, finances, healing, faith, and growth? Or are you simply coexisting?
3. Can we navigate conflict—without wounding each other?
Every relationship will face conflict. What matters most is how you repair after rupture.
Is your partner willing to have hard conversations without weaponizing your vulnerability?
After conflict, do you feel safer—or more afraid?
4. Does this love honor my healing?
We all carry wounds. The right relationship doesn’t bypass your healing—it supports it.
If old patterns like chasing, avoiding, or self-abandoning reappear… are they met with tenderness and accountability—or with judgment and neglect?
5. Am I choosing them—or just choosing not to be alone?
Loneliness whispers “good enough” when what your soul truly longs for is deeply right. The wrong relationship won’t cure loneliness. It only deepens it.
Ask: Would I choose this love if I already felt full, secure, and radiant?
6. Can we celebrate differences—without trying to “fix” each other?
You will be different. That’s not a flaw—it’s beautiful. Healthy love respects those differences while still building a shared foundation.
Are you partners growing toward a shared life, or constantly bending each other into your own comfort zones?
7. Is my nervous system at ease here?
Forget the fairytales. Your body knows. True compatibility often feels less like fireworks and more like an exhale.
Pay attention: Does my body relax when I’m with them? Or am I always holding my breath?
Ready to Dive Deeper?
These questions are just the beginning.
If you're ready to go beyond hoping for the best and build (or bravely reassess) your relationship with clarity, intention, and love—the What Holds Us workbook is here for you.
It’s a guided journey through:
Self-awareness
Relationship foundations
Emotional alignment
Future visioning
Perfect for couples who want more than just “getting by.” They want conscious, lasting love.
Because whether you thrive together—or respectfully part ways—it all begins with one brave thing:
Truth.