Stuck or Growing? How to Tell If Your Relationship Is Thriving or Just Surviving
Every relationship hits bumps. But sometimes, what feels like "normal ups and downs" is actually a slow drift into survival mode—where connection weakens, resentment builds, and the relationship starts to feel more like endurance than joy.
How do you know the difference?
The truth is: healthy relationships grow, even through struggle.
Unhealthy ones get stuck, cycling through the same patterns without healing, deepening, or evolving.
Here’s how to tell where you really stand—without shame, blame, or panic.
Signs Your Relationship Is Growing
You feel safe being fully seen and heard.
Disagreements lead to understanding, not silent grudges.
Both partners take responsibility for their growth and healing.
Shared goals and values continue to feel aligned, even as life changes.
There’s space for individuality and togetherness.
Difficult conversations are hard, yes—but they're productive, not destructive.
You celebrate each other's wins without competition or insecurity.
Emotional intimacy deepens over time, not diminishes.
Growth doesn’t mean perfection. It means forward motion—a slow, often messy but beautiful unfolding.
Signs Your Relationship Is Stuck
Conversations feel repetitive and go nowhere.
Conflict turns into shutdown, withdrawal, or blame games.
One or both partners are waiting for the "good days" to come back—without addressing real issues.
Emotional intimacy has been replaced with distance, criticism, or indifference.
Growth (personal or shared) feels threatening instead of inspiring.
There's a sense of "walking on eggshells" rather than honest communication.
The relationship feels like an obligation, not a conscious choice.
Feeling stuck doesn't always mean the relationship is doomed.
But it does mean it’s asking for deeper honesty, healing, and courage.
Key Questions to Reflect On
Do we still share a vision for the future?
Do we resolve issues or just avoid them until they resurface?
Do I feel emotionally nourished or emotionally drained here?
When I imagine five years from now, do I feel hopeful or heavy?
Am I safe to grow—or am I stifled trying to keep the peace?
Wherever your answers land, remember: awareness is the first step toward real change.
How What Holds Us Can Help
If you're feeling stuck—or simply unsure—What Holds Us offers a compassionate path forward.
Through structured self-reflection, partner discussions, and honest checkpoints, the workbook helps couples:
Assess emotional safety, trust, and communication
Reflect on lifestyle and future alignment
Identify patterns of growth… or avoidance
Build a conscious relationship or lovingly choose a different path
It's not about forcing "happily ever after."
It's about choosing truthfully ever after.
If you're ready to see clearly—and love more consciously—